FinalSync™ is a registered trademark in the United States
and/or other countries. All other trademarks are property of their respective
owners.
| More Tags: One problem about dating a person with a bad reputation is that you may not be sure whether the charge is justified. The grapevine says that a certain girl is persona non grata, and yet from what you see of her, she seems nice. Conversely, a boy may have a bad reputation among your friends and yet from your own contact with him, he seems courteous and gentlemanly. How are you to know? There are several factors to consider before you let someone's reputation influence you to turn down a date. In the first place, you must realize that a person may have been unjustly accused of something he did not do. Secondly, the person's unfavorable reputation may be based on prejudice against his family, his race, or his social standing, rather than upon his own character. Thirdly, it's only fair that every individual be given another chance, and if no one befriends him, he never gets that chance to make something of himself. Lastly, it's possible for a girl to raise the standards of her date or improve his reputation, and in that way help a boy to reclaim himself. To behave with such objectivity and compassion is worthy, but a person must still face the problems encountered in dating someone whose reputation is not good. The biggest problem in dating someone whom others shun is that you too may be avoided because of your association with that individual. Then, instead of helping the other person, you are only hurting yourself. Another problem not quite so easily recognized is that your motivation for associating with a person with a bad reputation may be based upon your conscious or unconscious wish to hurt or offend your friends or family. A girl may date a boy of whom she knows her family disapproves, just to spite them. She acts out of a need to defy her parents and to rebel from their control, and not because of sympathy for the boy. A fellow may date a girl of whom his friends disapprove, not so much because he likes her, but to show his friends that he can date whomever he wants without their interference. This kind of behavior is childish and unfortunate, both for the individual who is flaunting his independence and for the one who is being dated. It rarely helps the one with the bad reputation, and it is often ruinous for the one acting out of defiance and rebellion. HOW CAN YOU JUDGE? The big question for many young people is: How can you judge another person? Should a girl judge a boy by what her family says about him or by what she knows of him? Should a boy judge a girl by what people say about her or by what he sees in her? Or both? How much should one listen to others in judging an individual? And how much can one trust one's own judgment in appraising another's personality? These are difficult questions to answer, especially when we realize how much is at stake in the reputation and the future happiness of the persons involved. |