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More Tags: Some of the happiest marriages ever studied are those in which the woman is older than her husband. Social scientists who are concerned with interpreting interpersonal relationships feel that since marriage demands more of the woman than it does of the man (in her having to adjust to his name, his work, his place of residence, and his way of life), it helps if she's emotionally mature enough to make these adjustments in a grown-up way. Being the older of the two, she is, theoretically at least, more mature and so is able to work out a mutually satisfying relationship. Although nothing quite parallel has ever been studied among dating pairs, the situation may operate similarly. An older girl is not quite so apt to be demanding, jealous, and possessive. She may have much to give the boy in the way of social poise that will eventually help them both. She may appreciate him more than would someone his own age or younger.
The most important factor seems to be the two people's own feelings about their difference in ages. If an older woman is always afraid that she'll lose her man to some younger female, or if she "lords it over him" because she's wiser and more experienced, there may be trouble. If, on his side, he makes her feel vulnerable by teasing her about her age, or if he takes a dependent role and lets her manage things and him, the relationship may founder. But if two people can understand that the number of birthdays a person has had is far less important than the quality of the life he has lived, age differences are no longer a legitimate concern.
THE BOYS IN UNIFORM
There once was considerable stigma about dating a man in uniform. Now, when most boys experience military service before they are far into their twenties, the situation ischanged. A young man joins the service and soon finds himself in a training post far removed from the friends and associates of his home town. Some impulsive young fellows take this opportunity to cut up and do things they would never dream of doing at home. But for the great majority, the man in uniform is still the same man he was at home, with the same standards, values, and attitudes he always had.
The boy in uniform may be quite as fine as any home-town boy, but he poses problems for the girl who dates him. First of all, he comes from another locale, possibly a different culture, and this social gulf can cause difficulties in a relationship. Secondly, it's difficult for a girl to know what kind of person she's dealing with, since she has had no contact with his family. Thirdly, he's usually stationed in the training post for a short period of time, and there is not time enough to build a long-lasting relationship. And lastly, being away from home and friends, the young man is quite possibly lonely and especially eager for female companionship, with the result that he's overly susceptible to emotional entanglements. In that case, what he thinks is love may be only a temporary need.
A girl tends to date a serviceman for several reasons. (1) She knew the boy before he got into service and so continues her friendship with him while he's in uniform. (2) She meets him through mutual friends in the same way she meets civilians. (3) She is concerned about the plight of servicemen in her home town and does what she can through her USO, church, or other group to make the boys in uniform feel welcome. (4) She doesn't rate with home-town boys and dates servicemen as the only ones that she can get. It is this fourth group of girls whose behavior with men in service so often gives a black eye to all. The other types of service-dates can be as wholesome and satisfactory as the individual persons make them.
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