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| More Tags: Courtesy is mentioned frequently by both boys and girls as a desirable quality in a date. Actually, being courteous is just being thoughtful of others; it's easy to get the habit. Sometimes a young person grows up in a family that is careless or casual about little courtesies, and he has to learn not to speak when someone else is talking, not to talk with a mouth full of food. If you keep your voice low and pleasant, say "Thank you" and "Excuse me" at appropriate times, it makes a pleasant impression on new and old friends. Some schools have special courses in social arts where students get opportunities for practicing those graces that make getting along with others easy. Books, articles, and lectures also help to give boys and girls an idea of what kind of behavior is expected of them when they begin to have dates. When you say "Ted is such fun to be with!" do you know why? Do you realize it takes practice to become a "fun person"? It involves some rather complicated skills-knowing how to carry on a conversation, knowing how to enter a group pleasantly, being able to accept and refuse invitations graciously, assuming responsibility for one's part in the group activity, and generally making others glad that you're there. Most boys and girls are awkward in group situations at first. But as they gain experience, first in simple situations with .^others who know and like them, they get over being self-conscious. Soon they become so poised that they feel at home in most social situations. But this takes time and experience -lots of it. It is no accident that boys and girls who have belonged to clubs and organizations get along more easily with people than do those who have grown up somewhat isolated. Being a member of a group not only gives you experience in planning and making decisions with others, in carrying responsibility for your part in a project, but it also introduces you to a variety of human situations and human beings. You begin to learn how the next guy "ticks." If you want to be more acceptable to the other sex, then you ought to get into group activities with other young people of both sexes. Mingling with a mixed group will ready you for dating and develop those skills which will help you carry off a date successfully. THE DATE FOR YOU It's common knowledge that certain teen-age girls swoon over movie and TV stars. There was Elvis Presley, for instance, and before him Frank Sinatra, and long before his time Rudolph Valentino. But few girls actually ever expect to date such an idol. In fact, one of the functions of the celebrity is to serve as a focus for early infatuation without ever requiring the girl to do anything about it. It's just as common for a fellow to daydream about a movie queen-and a good safe practice, because he will never be expected to court and win her. Occasionally, however, a young person goes overboard in a crush on some unattainable person, so that he doesn't make progress with those who are realistically available to him. It's not just die movie or TV personality who's unattainable. Many a young girl swoons over the football captain, the president of the senior class, or the most popular boy in the school, with whom she hasn't the ghost of a chance. Indeed, she wouldn't even know what to do on such a spectacular date if she had it. Similarly, an inexperienced boy will sometimes moon over a popular teacher, or the school queen-as unattainable for him as Miss Universe. As long as these super romantic crushes prevail, the in experienced boy or girl will probably make little progress in getting a date with anyone; for no real and available person can rival the "dream's" charms and popularity. |